Pressure is placed on all shoulders,
Promising futures are often sought,
Beauty lies with unsuspecting beholders,
With lessons, that have yet been taught.

Prosperity awaits, those who endeavor,
Thighest of highs and lowest of lows,
With inspiration and thoughts so clever,
As you embark on this journey you chose.

The memories of yesterday's corruption,
Haunt the ambition of tomorrow's dreams,
Beware of life's complicated interruption,
For nothing shall ever be what it seems.

Your word is your greatest possession,
As only you have the power to betray,
For some, manipulation becomes profession,
A modest influence is what they'll portray.

Remain faithful to yourself and desires,
Never jeopardize, for a moment of glory,
Hard work and heart is all life requires,
We're all writers of our own life story.

Butterfly Kisses

Pink candy canes and butterfly kisses
Close your eyes darling, fulfill all your wishes
Slide down the rainbow into a sea of gold
To a magical place where you never grow old

Keep a tight hold of your dear teddy bear
Watch as the mermaids comb their shining hair
They'll sing you a song with voices so sweet
Listening to them is such a lovely treat

Chocolate drops fall from a Vanilla sky
Pixies and fairies are all flying high
Scattering pixie dust over your head
This is better than any fairytale you've read

The glitter carousel is waiting to start
Shimmering unicorns beg you to take part
The organ strikes up a tinkling tune
About a little cow who jumped over the moon

Pink candy floss cloads float lazily past
Time in this dreamworld flies by way too fast
A cute little elf reaches for your hand
Ring around the roses then fall on the sand

Butterfly kisses and cold lemonade
An enchanted dreamworld that your mind has made
So go to sleep sweetheart, close your tired eyes
Spend all your sweet dreams with magic butterflies

wake up with a smile...

Wake up with a smile
say a quiet little prayer.
Give everyone a big smiles
how the world you care

Friends make life a total joy
can change your entire day.
Cultivate your own happiness
chase those lousy blues away.

When I wokeup this morning
the sun was shining so bright.
So much nicer than yesterday
my heart was sunny and light.

It takes so little to be happy
if that's what you truly want.
Cultivate a permanent smile
put away your selfish wants.

This is by my friend SIDD

Oh, I nearly wish I could
Easy as chopping the headen wood
Help me if I can help that mighty bastard
We ran away, slipping on this mustard
Its yellow, pal, very, very, yellow
I want a warm greeting, hello, you a marshmallow?
This is an effort to sound that lamest lame
When the pigeons are tired of their practiced game
When fucking yourself is all you can do
You ought to go think about Eugene's goo
Yoo hoo, am I alone on this?
Oh, crappy crap crap, some bit of something amiss
I love you, you're my scaly beast, I'm mean
And when they squeak 'green green, fairy queen'
I will laugh and pounce on that slimy blend
And will, myself announce, that I am spent

Fruit Cake

Clicks and clacks
dings and dongs
i bet ya hoping this
don't go for long!

slips and slaps
jips and jops
after this you'll have
the chicken pox!

clips and claps
flips and flops
you like this poem
go back to the top!

smicks and smacks
blings and blongs
try make these words
in to a song!

cups and cops
shups and shops
i bet by now your
shaking non-stop!

splicks and splocks
mocks and mucks
you may think this poem
right now sucks!

crops and crups
slings and sloons
don't worry your self
its over soon!

spolicks and spulicks
klingers and klungers
is it me or are these words
getting longer!

clopies and clupies
chivers and chovers
don't worry now because
its all OVER RED ROVER!

clover sover nover yover fover
tover dover quover wover hover .....

Why do ppl do weird things?

I'm sitting here in my comfy chair.
I'm using a fork to stroke my hair.
I used the saw to clip my nails.
I used the juice to dust the rails.

I'm plastering my walls with my underwear.
I'm crawling and growling like i am a bear.
I used some cool whip as my shampoo.
I used my feet to hop like a kangaroo.

I'm using a broom as my powerful sword.
I'm pretending that I am a wonderful lord.
I used a blow dryer to dry all my clothes.
I used some candy to show love for my foes.

Yeah, sometimes people do really weird things.
They misplace much stuff, because of what clings.
Yeah, sometimes people just have to much to drink.
So go clear your mind and wash up in the sink.

Pieces of me..

as darkness envelops my soul
and silence wraps its dark icy tentecles
around my heart turning it to stone
i look into your eyes
and see who i once was
who people still belive i am
the girl laughing with all her friends
the girl without a care in the world
but that was a long time ago
that girl is dead and gone
all that is left is the dried up cacoon
that i hide inside all
that is left is the tears
that i cried because of you
all that is left is the blood
that i bled because of you
that is all you left of me
the broken pieces
that once was my life.....

Dreams of the deep blue sea

Running away to an unseen paradise; there is always a risk to go.Seeing the real world on the other side but not wanting to go back.I run into my dreams but stop to look back across the sea that seperates the realy world from my dreams.Stopping at a neverending cliff and looking back one last time at the world I'm leaving behind.I look up at the moon and feel the wind lifting me up, and letting everything inside of me take flight. And my dreams circle around me in a beautiful dancing light. A light you can only see at night. In this dream and in i see so many things i love and so many things i hate and i dream of a light aking me through a beutiful gate to where i can see my real destiney, my real fate, and its not the fate the real world is giving me. Wh because, wot stand for something to decide my life, my dreams, my love, and my hate. So many divine things and so many screaming slowly dying things that also lay in wait. In my dreams i can feel a silky light feeling almost like a jet black feather that on the other side is the most radiant of white that fills me with every thing that is pure. Every thing that's opposite from hate. Then I gasp for breath as i surface and i thinnk. I was almost there. I was so close. And so for now i have to accept this hate. But next time i will realize my true fate, and never again will i have to surface back up to all this hate.

A SHORT STORY

“Why? Why are you doing this?” I try to whisper loud enough to reach his ears. Immediately I feel as if I’ve had a train ram into the side of my head as he throws his fist against me.

“Why am I doing this? What the hell do you mean by why am I doing this you’ve brought this upon yourself you disgusting little whore!” he screamed at me as I cowered in the corner tear streaming down from my blood shot eyes “Quit crying!” he bellowed as he landed another blow on me this time catching me on my shoulder I gasped for breath as the pain seeped through me “Stand up, stand up and get out of my sight you fucking slut!” I wanted to I wanted to get up and run but I was paralyzed by fear I couldn’t stand I couldn’t even take in a breath of air. “ I said get you stupid bitch!” he roared down to me ripping his hands through my hair, I stood as he threw me down the hall and into the door.

“ Now get out!” he said throwing me out the door “You will stay their till I come and get you do you understand Me?” He hissed out at me. I nodded before he slammed the door. I lay there my whole body trembling from the pain and fear.

“Why don’t I just run?” I quickly answered my self “because he’ll come after you and say its your fault and ruin your life just like your mothers.”

I looked around It was starting to rain and it was only all I had on was a torn shirt and pajama shirt. I shivered with the cold of the night.
“Its better this way I guess at least I wont be able to feel the pain through the numbness.” I thought trying to keep myself calm.
“Get over here now Alana and go to bed.” He said sweetly as he opened the door I tried to walk as fast as I could past him I didn’t want to be near him I just wanted to get away… but I knew that it was impossible. “I’m trying, I’m trying to be good I don’t mean to be bad. I don’t even know what I did wrong.” I thought as I sat alone in the schoolyard “what is it that I do that’s so bad? Why can’t I be good like my brothers and sisters? I know it’s not my fault. But it has to be because other wise he wouldn’t get so mad at me.”

I stood up and started to head for the library. I walked along the edge of the building trying not to be seen by the kids who were walking the opposite direction from the bus stop. “Hay Emolana.” someone called from behind me.

Immediately I felt the wall collide with me “So you have any new cuts today?” It was James a boy in my first period he was also a freshman but only because he was an idiot. “So you have any new cuts today?” he asked mockingly two boys who were behind him came up and gabbed my arms I barely even fought them, I knew it was useless and I knew what was coming next. He pulled down my sleeves, where my arms, which were already scattered by scars, had three fresh cuts on them the blood only having just scabbed over. “Tsk tsk, now what have we told you about cutting?” He asked mockingly. The two boys snickered behind me “You know I’m getting kind of sick of always trying to teach you that you shouldn’t cut maybe I should up the punishment.” Both boys were laughing now.

I looked up at them terrified. What could it be now before they would just throw me in a locker, or throw me in the showers. “No wait what do you mean-“ he cut me off “Oh well it just seems that you need a more extreme punishment is all just to get the point across you know.” He said mockingly as they dragged me off behind the Gym.

They threw me against the wall I curled up trying to hide, but they grabbed my head and yanked it up. I looked at his other hand where he was holding a plastic bag and a rope. “Now don’t worry you’ll be ok.” He smiled down to me at the terrified look in my eyes.

“NO! NO! Ple-!” he cut me off again this time covering my mouth with his hand now. I saw as one of his little sidekicks picked up the bag and at a nod of James head threw the bag over my face. They tied the string around the bottom. I gasped but only managed to pull some of the bag into my mouth I spit it out and screamed.

“Shut-up!” One of the cronies yelled and I felt a kick hit me in the stomach. I gasped for air but again was stopped by the bag. I tried to rip it off but one of them had my hands. I was beginning to feel light headed and slowly stopped struggling to get away.

“What the fuck do you think you guys are doing!” an angry voice boomed out. I didn’t know who it was. Well really I don’t know much of any one besides James and his henchmen. “It’s probably your imagination your going under, no one would save a worthless horrible person like me… maybe it’s better if I die, my dad will be happy he wont be mad, I wont be tormented anymore.” I just let myself be absorbed by my thoughts. I could hear footsteps.

“Yes their leaving me here to die everything will be good now.” I wishfully thought “Hay hay are you ok?” some one pulled the bag off my head. I gasped at the air and continued for several seconds. “ Are you ok.” Someone asked putting there hand on my shoulder. I looked up at the teen, which I hadn’t seen before. “Yeah thank you.” I stammered. He was breathtakingly gorgeous, he had short brown and black hair covering part of his face, a lip ring, but mostly I noticed his deep blue eyes.

They were like ice, but this ice made me feel warm inside, they just seemed to be so concerned and caring. A look I never remember seeing on any one else’s face before. “Come on we should get you to the nurse.” He said calmly grabbing my hand and pulling me up.

“No!” I quickly recoiled. “I mean I can’t” He looked down at me confused. I felt myself turning red. I didn’t want to tell him or anyone else about my cutting what if he did the same as the others.

“Why not?” He asked kneeling back down next to me. “I don’t want them to know.” I couldn’t resist telling him, his eyes were so trusting, slightly confused with my reply, but still so breath taking. “Know what?” he asked sitting next to me on the ground now

“About my arms.” I whispered I had to answer I couldn’t not tell this angel. “Can I see?” he asked. I quickly looked away I couldn’t he would hate me. But would that really matter everyone else hated me what was it if we added one more person. I nodded.

Hate you; I never could..

I wish I knew what you were thinking tonight,
Wish I could know if I'm on your mind.
I hate how much I care for you, it's not right,
Wish I could put our times together on rewind.

I can't stand your smile, if only you knew,
I'm weak in the knees; I can't ever pretend.
As much as I love you, as much as I need you,
I know what we share will come to its end.

You put me through grief I don't want to feel,
You say things you know I should never forgive.
Then you take my hands, kissing them; you kneel,
And I forgive because without you, I can't live.

I hate how well you know me, but I love it too,
I wish I looked away when your eyes pined.
I couldn't help falling, what was I meant to do?
Soft is your mouth, how your brown eyes shined.

This feeling pulls within me, it won't let go,
I'm hurting, but never has a hurt felt this good.
I give in to your touch; I give in, slow, so slow,
Because hate you; you know I never could.

Shattered Mirror

You sit and watch your life go by
On a silver screen
You're suffering inside
The pain is evident
But you won't let out a single scream
Blankly, you sit and stare
At all the colors flashing before your eyes
Lost and alone
At a sellout show
Without an ounce of confidence or pride
Your jaw is wide open
You want to speak
But your lips won't move a single motion
So avoid the distractions
Avoid the pain
And just hope one day everything will change
Maybe in a perfect lie
Maybe in your see-through eyes
Look into the shattered mirror
The demons from behind you are drawing near

Kissed me right before he said Goodbye

He kissed me right before he said goodbye
A light brush of our lips
A sensation that will remain in my mind
A feeling too sweet to forget
Yet too bitter to recollect.
It was beyond the ordinary kiss
It was more than anything worth our relationship
Maybe, I would have wanted to make the feeling last
For a split second…
I wasn’t sure how
I wanted the feel of his lips against mine
I wasn’t sure what I SHOULD have felt…
Knowing that it will be the last time.
So I wasn’t the one to pull away…
I wanted him to know ,I wasn’t going to leave
I wanted to let the feeling consume me
Blind me.
Or maybe, I merely wanted it to last
So I can be lost in him.
Because that was all I could do.
Nothing more can connect us even in the thinnest form of bond.
He said softly that life should move on…
I thought, why not?
Why not then could we move on with each other?
Why do we have to part ways?
Why do you have to leave?
But I was content in silence I never wanted to speak…
No, not anymore.
I fear that if I do, I’ll just break.
And I can’t bear to surrender to you now…
‘Coz, it’ll look too shallow.
And what right do I have to cry to you?
To tell you words that I should have said?
Because everything was sealed with a kiss,
Right before you said your goodbye

Its all my fault

I sit here crying.Lying to myself.
Telling myself..."It's not your fault.
"Knowing deep down.
That, that's not true.

If it hadn't of been for me
You would still be here.I
'm sitting in my room.
Crying on the floor.

With a blade in one hand.
And my limp lifeless wrist on the other.
Cutting away the pain.
Trying to get it to wash away.

Theres a pool of blood on the floor.
Where my sorrow's just begin.
Not wanting to relive the moment.
Seeing your face in front of mine.

It's a sight i can not bare.
To see your life just fade away.
I go deeper and deeper.
With each cut i make.

None of which i can feel.
Never knowing which will be my last.
The thought that your gone.
Is worse than anything in the world.

Stronger than any other pain.
And will surely last a lot longer.
Each time a new cut is made.
I have only me to blame.

Showing how sorry i am.
It should have been me not you!

Bittersweet

Contemplating loneliness and drawing multicoloured lines
Of truth and lies and black and white and your red lips pressed into mine
A character sketch of an act of fiction, my little daytime me
Night-time bouts of truth collide come morning

A roaring drunk love story, two broken lives
Bittersweet and amber wine
Opened and poured out like your heartbeat
Driven up and against mine

Back and forth retracting faith and longing of a shattered show
A dazzling display of lights and sounds and love as far as that can go
Lastly comes the intellect expected from an open bar
Fluttering eyelash across the room and my heart hooked

A roaring drunk love story, two broken lives
Bittersweet and amber wine
Opened and poured out like your heartbeat
Driven up and against mine

A roaring drunk love story, two broken lives
Bittersweet and amber wine
Opened and poured out like your heartbeat
Driven up and against mine

And now as I wait and I wait I realise, you’re what I needed all along
And now I’ve found something worth living for

A roaring drunk love story, two broken lives
Bittersweet and amber wine
Opened and poured out like your heartbeat
Driven up and against mine

Here i lay..

Here i lay
throbbing, screaming,
yelling your name.
i know love is lost,
but what about life?
Judge her by the way she dyes her hair
Judge her by the way her skin is unnaturally fair
Judge her by the way she hides the shame
Judge her by the way she feels the pain
Judge her by the way she just wants to belong
Judge her by the way she just wants to feel love
Her friends are scared
Her teachers are terrified
For the way she looks
For the way she acts
She's different
She's an outcast
For the anger she holds
All she can take
She's afraid she might break
She just wants to be loved
To be held tight
Through the bloodshed and the fear
She's full of hate
Afraid of the world
That sees her for what she is
She just wants to be accepted for who she is
Her friends noticed a change,
They noticed the pain
Her friends asked if she was ok
She answered
Her voice full of shame
The way she wore her clothes,
The way she styled her hair
The music she listened to,
The boys she liked
They noticed the cuts, the scars and the anger
Up till that day,
She's been alone
With nothing to live for,
She took her last breath

Stolen

Satin sheets covered
With the blood of the young
Youth and innocents stolen
Happiness and hope forgotten
She laid in her own blood
Not being able to move
What she lost
What was stolen
Nothing just her innocents
Irreplaceable innocents

What was than hers
Didn’t belong to her anymore
Childhood bliss is gone
As well as a part of her
The child in her was stolen
She tries to move but is frozen
What was lost
What was stolen
Nothing just her irreplaceable innocents

As i lay in bed at night

As I lay in bed at night,I think of him,
holding me tight.
I feel his arms, Around my waist,
I dream of him, Making no haste.

If only he was here, With me in bed,
“If only he was here”, That’s all I said.
Crying silently, He texts me why,
I text him back, Saying only lies.

Without his touch, Without his feel,
I promise to never, Eat a meal.
I eat no more, Starving for you,
I cry all day, I say boo-hoo.

My meds look good, My meds look nice,
I down the bottle, Not thinking twice.
To the hospital, My dad crying,
They ask me why, I lay there dying.

Wishing you would come, I get my stomach pumped,
My body feels horrid, Like its been dumped.
As I lay in bed at night,
I dream of him, holding me tight.

I'm broken

It's not my fault if I'm BrOkEn
Its not my fault If I'm being CoLd
In fact it has nothing to do with me
U lied, u lied...u F***ing lied to me

Empty promises was all i ever got from u
Words of love i never hear from ur mouth
Ur on Ur own,GoOdBye', was ur last words
Thank u for making my heart cold n my life more hollow

It's all ur fault if I dnt call
It's all ur fault if I cant love
In fact it has everything to do with u
I tried,I tried..I f***ing tried to kill myself

Razor kissed wrist..

With the razor kissed wrists this is my bright red scream as I press down harder blood begins to surface I convince myself "you don't feel pain, forget it, it's worth it" You convince yourself that there is no pain I try to forget it's just my sick little game there's white ones, red ones, fresh ones too I'm ashamed of what I do As time goes by they get harder to hide more and more skin with scars on the outside Hide them with long sleeved shirts, it covers them up but doesn't take away the hurt It hurts the same when nobody knows; it's just the way it goes Cut to feel alive, it's something I know is real It's something I wish I could hide, something I didn't have to feel When things get too bad it's first instinct to just cut away Cut away, make some new scars to just get through the day This time it got out of hand, cut too deep and can hardly stand Losing way too much blood and I begin to fall This will be my little secret, I won't say anything at all

No one can ...

I was falling off the edge
I didnt see the pointin living my life
so I started to jump
only hell lays at the bottom
of that narrow cliff
but I never reached it
you grabbed me before I did
I was confused of who I was
but you took my hand instead of calling me a freak
you held me
you took off all the make-up
the hollow eyes you saw through
opened up a person
the one I could never find
you saw my first smile
the beginning of not wanting to die
no suicide
just happiness
you poured me out
with the depressed hated anger
and filled me with these words I never heard

I love you.

My one true Love..

Happiness is when we feel completed
Being in love is no longer feeling defeated

What I wish for is the world to be like you
Sweet, gentle, caring and true

Now you are gone,
my world is incomplete

I hope one day I will meet
Someone who can make time stand still

I hope they can make me feel
The way you made me

You set my heart free
Of course no one could replace you

My one true love will always be you

...Cz i Loved you !

I touch you as I feel your head brushing your hair from your face
Gathering the emotions building inside of me
One thought of commitment one thought of faith
How much I love you how much I feel your pain

All the memories of our short togetherness
Lingers in my mind as I feel warmth inside
I kiss your forehead trying to make myself strong
For what a difficult time it seemed

After the brief pleasure of being with you all the time
I feel so lost to loose you right now
These were my thought what I had that time
How I had thought it would be so wrong

How it seems to be so right after all
Better as I am after the horror of my dreams
Thinking if I really had to leave u
Did I really have to make that sacrifice?

Stepping on my emotions
Choosing loneliness after all that happiness
But I had no choice
Just as I had nothing to support me

Life seemed so uncertain
Future seemed so blurred
Ah!i only Love Death,
Cz i had loved U!

The day i met you..

The day i met you,
that really fun day,
when i seen you in the mirror,
i thought that you were the one,
but i guess i was wrong,
you hurt me,
you killed me inside,
i don't no how but you did,
you cheated,
you even lied to my face,
when you were alone,
i was always there,
but when i needed you,
you were never there,
i loved you so much,
but did you love me,
it hurts to look at you now,
i cant even look you in the eye,
you just didn't understand,
that you meant so much to me.

When you see, how much i care..

Never will I understand,
Why my love, denies my hand.
What pain, what suffering have you endured?

With my help, can you be cured?
My thoughts, my dreams,
you re always there,
When will you see how much I care?

Such little time I ve spent with you,
Enough to know my love is true.
The further you drift away from me,
The more I feel I ll never be free.

Perhaps I should just let you go,
Your love maybe, I should not know?
My love and friendship is always here,
And if you should ever shed a tear,

My arms are here to hold you tight,
For I will always be your light..

And i still live...

I’ve been through this
A thousand and one times before
And I refuse
To feel this anymore.

In the playground
Their game had me as meat
While they trampled on me
With their words and with their feet.

Out around town
Abuse and torment
Sinful faces that I know
Will never repent.

And still, even now
That the past is in the past
You’d think the abuse
Would be over at last?

But I still live in fear
Of these people I come across
It seems to be always their gain …
And eternally my loss..

Why cant you see me cry..

Watching you go is slowly killing me inside
To see the pain you suffer,
it just isn't right
I find myself crying though you're still here.

One day you won't be,
and that's my greatest fear.
So I soak up the moments I still have with you.
And regret the ones I lost when I had better things to do.

I know there are things I can never make up for,
And still somewhere inside you loved me all the more
This only makes it harder to accept that you'll be gone.

How am I supposed to get up and keep moving on?
You've been here my entire life in many memories.
One day I'll make new ones and you won't be with me.

When I have a question, where do I run too?
For all of these years,
that person's been you.

When I have a fear, who will chase it away?
I'm shrinking by the minute,
dying by the day.

How many I love you's can I fit in before you go?
There will never be enough,
and sadly this I know.

For the sake of my heart and the thoughts in my mind,
I'll say I love you, one final time..

I want you ...

I have made a new friend,
very nice, very close, my very own,
Its name I dont know,
but loneliness is by what it is known.

We spend all times together;
it stays by my side always,
I am sure whatever happens,
it wont leave me in any case.

Sometimes I think,
sometimes I wonder,
Was this already planned by God,
or is it a mere blunder.

Everything happens for good I know,
Should I keep quiet thinking all this so.
I am a mere human; I cannot fight divine decisions,
I know God rules our lives with lots of precision.

He must have thought something good for me,
There would be a rainbow beyond the clouds I see.
I dont need diamonds, I dont need gold,
Just few moments of happiness untold.

Is it wrong if I want to live
in land where there is no pain,
Just a little peace,
else these tears will turn me insane.

I know I might sound like complaining,
Believe me, its just an effort for sustaining.
I know its bad to ditch good friends,
But this loneliness will make my life end.

I am not

Nowhere to leave the pain

Time has come and gone,
Through laughter and pain,
Our good times many,
And bad times few,

You may be gone,
But having your spirit around eases the pain,
Stories among many,
Bad stories among the few,

You held on for weeks while we prayed you wouldnt leave,
Then even all of it was gone including pain,
You taught me fear is bad,
But so long as you believe everything will be alright,

You once told me once you left to listen to the wind,
And when I was lonely just listen,
So now here I sit,
I listen, but hear nothing,

Then one day I heard you whisper and then it rang,
Pain forgotten,
Lessons many, Crying few,
Now all I got left of you is the whisper in the wind

When you look into my eyes..

When you look into my eyes..
what do you see?

When you look into my eyes..
what is it that brings you close to me?

..is it the love i have for you?
.. or is it just me?..

When you look into my eyes..
what does it make you think of when you are near me?

When you look into my eyes..
What do you want from me?

When you look into my eyes..
why do i always get a feeling that you are always going to be with me?

When i look into your eyes i see myself there.....
when i look into your eyes i feel so free

Your the reason i'm gone ..

You know where you could find me
Whenever you were betrayed
After she broke up with you
And your heart was slayed

But now you cannot find me
And you can't find the words to say
How much you miss me
Everyday

Now you wish that the last words that you said
Was that you hated me
And you wished I was dead
I guess your dream came true

And Its all because of you
That I'm gone away
You knew where you could find me
But now I'm gone away

You wish that you hadn't teased
Or even made fun
Of me cause I called my girls
Pumpkin and Honey Bun

And know this as you rest your eyes
Before you go to sleep
Your the reason im gone
AND I HOPE YOU WEEP..

You were made for me..

I can't take this anymorewhat is the point?
everytime a get close to you
you walk away and take no blame
its all your fault a feel this way
there's nothing left to do or say
i loved you with all my heart
but you just tore me apart
i've never felt this way
every about someone
i just feel like walking
and taking the gun
put it striaght to my head
hopefully end up dead
but im not letting you win
this is all just a sin
you've taken my soul
but soon again a will be whole
to love my life once more
i can now walk out the door
i'll just put you in the past
i should of known it wouldn't last
but at least now im free
i can live life happily ...

I am Alone..

Now I've realised that I'm alone..
At first I thought I'm not alone,
Because I once had love that I used to cry on..
But it's also just passed away and left me alone in this planet.

All the problems I have I fight it on my own..
I cry with no one care for me..
The worlds just look and pass by
Then to stop and ask why I cry.

I'm breathing the air that is filled with evil
The more I breath it the more its grow inside me
And nothing I can do since I'm alone,
Now being kind I see is not good.

People turn to hate for the good things you do..
I sleep crying not knowing how will be tomorrow
May be I might smile or continue crying,
Now I have learn how life is all about....

You birth alone to face a life to struggle,
When you get older you get more foes then friends
Then your best friends turn to be your best enemies..
I know that I'm alone, it's me and myself and nobody else

And I will be alone till the death of me.

As if you were never wrong

I was all i could be,
I gave everything to you,
Wat more did you want,
Wat more could i do?

Just wanna let you know,
I'll never be the same,
I may never say another word,
And you are the one to blame.

Cuts and bruises just don't compare,
To the hurt inside my heart,
My cuts come open and bleed,
And my heart is tearing apart.

Don't care if you beg for me back,
Don't care if you cry,
You've hurt me so much already,
It's your fault that i want to die ..

Silent Hopes

I stood by the window
With good reasons to curse
For life was turning from bad to worse
I wondered how could anyone preserve his morality
When all around is disloyalty.

When people around you are all so corrupt
How could it not be your principle and values disrupt
I looked outside keeping aside my plight
When suddenly i saw a wonderful sight.

Far away on a small flower bed
Grew a little rose,so bright and red
The rose with thorns was completely surrounded
Yet in pleasant fragrance it fully abounded.


Beside there was a pond with weeds of every kind
In grew a lotus of colour rare to find
Surroundings too filthy,smell really awful
Yet the lotus bloomed,radiant and beautiful.

In an atmosphere conducive and fine
everything would glitter and shine
But living in hell and doom
Its really creditable to bloom.

Look at lotus,look at rose
Its allways the beauty,wherever it grows
So than I held my nerves and decided to be bold
Than every stone could be turned in to a gold !! !!

The last page of my diary

As I sit on this playground
There are trees all around
Please listen carefully
This place is my diary

The tunnel keeps my secrets
While the swings throw my wishes to the stars
The slide lets me slip on by
The branches keep asking where you are

We used to sit there,and talk for hours
Now only the grass
The trees and the flowers
Keep me company

This place knows me
Better than I do
And it remembers
All the timesI spent with you

That bench is lonely
And so am I..Missing you only
But remember what happens
When the sun runs from the sky

As I sit on this playground
There are trees all around
Please listen carefully
This place is my diary

You are the reason that i live..

I close my eyes and try to sleep,
But thoughts of you I keep.
They flood my dreams,
Like the running streams.

You're my one and only choice,
I smile when I hear your voice.
I miss you when you're away,
I think about you all day.

When you hold me tight,
You make everything alright.
You cheer me up when I'm sad;
You calm me down if I'm mad.

You wrap your arms around my hips,
Holding me tight and kissing my lips.
Never let me go or I might fall,
Always be there if I shall call.

Take away my sadness and sorrow,
Show me there is always a tomorrow.
Tell me that everything is going to be fine,
Call me yours and I will call you mine.

You are a gift sent from above,
I write this poem for you love.
To tell you how I exactly feel,
To tell you this feeling is real.

I want this feeling to last forever,
I hope we'll always stay together.
And that our love stays strong,
And that I don't do you wrong.

Never to break your heart,
Never to tear our love apart.

In My Breath is Your Name

You want to stay
But I have to go
You've been killing me
Right from hello

The words from your heart
Take my breath away
I'm suffocating slowly
With everything you say

Let me catch my breath
That you've taken from me
Baby, don't worry
You're all I'll ever need

Let me rest my head
That's full of youI'll close me eyes
And my dream will come true
I'll put a smell to the picture

That's burnt in my head
And reminisce about all
The cute things you've said
I haven't come up for air

In a very long while
All because I have been
Thinking about your smile
With everything you've said

I feel like I'm choking from within
That's why I have to go
So I can catch my breath again

That make me smile

The prettiest words you say.
The most amazing things you do,

The most little things that make us smile,
In sandy beach, the longest walks,
The tight hugs, and longer talks.

The most little things that make us smile,
The next day texts, missing you they say
And i been thinking of you since you left today.

The most little things that make us smile.
Tonight, ill be holding your hand tight,
And whisper i love you with my eyes open wide.

You are the most special person who makes me smile.

I can still feel you...

Your breath upon my cheek whispering
those words I long to hear.
I can feel your heart as it beats to mine,
in heated passion we both feel.

You hold me from behind,
telling me how youfeel.
With such passion my body can tell.
My temperature rises to the warmth of your touch.

Your kiss is like the ocean waves,
with such force then very calm.
The touch of your body brings me to my knees
with desire to have you within myself.

I can't control this feeling I have,
my body shakeswith desire to take you now.
Oh my love take me in your loving arms,
and tell meyou desire me as I you.

I can still feel you upon my skin with passion of this heated night.
I long to touch every inch of your body slowly
As I whisper those loving words you long to hear,
I can still feel you.

Just because..

I've certainly fallen to and unknown place,
Where darkness surrounds me
With solitude and space.

There's no one there to pull me back,
I took one more straw
Which broke my back.

No matter how hard I seem to try,
I always fail
And want to die.

I'm losing my hope
A bit more each day,I want to let go
And I want to say,That I have won this.

With my demons cast back,
And the light will follow
To banish the black.

This hurts so much
The way I feel,
These horrible wounds will just not heal ..=(

For as long as I can remember
you have had the biggest part in my life
There has always been this magic between us
and I never even wasted a minute on the idea
that we could ever grow apart

But now I'm left here alone thinking of our memorable past
Realizing it's the only thing I have left of you
Memories that were once so sweet and meaningfull
But now became so bitter and painfull
Because I'm concious of the fact
that I'll never experience them ever again
And I didn't just lose our love.

I lost our friendship that was so precious to me.
But it's impossible for me to 'just be your friend.
And make you love me again
the way you used to before you fell for U ..
Just know that you are my entire past
but that you are not even a part of my future ..=(

Life is An endless Journey

Life is the journey we all will take,
An undulating adventure,Make no mistake.

Through it all we take things for granted,
And then look back with resent.

At the worries that have planted,
And the problems they present.

Though life does have many highlights,
Some that we won't ever believe.

Moments that had always been in our sights,
And tell of how much we can achieve.

And while we all go through at different pace,
To reach our final goals.

We all end up finding our place,
Somewhere that we are whole..

Thinkin of the words you said..

As the nights slowly fade to darkness,
And your face is no longer in my head.
I can't help but wake up in the middle of the night,
Thinking of the words you said.

Just to hear your soft voice in my dreams,
I drift into my sleep.
Remembering the words you said,
I wake up & weep.

The dreams I used to have,
Were the ones that made me laugh.
Now the only reason i fall asleep,
So my heart won't collapse.

I can't see you around to catch me,
When i fall so quickly out of sight.
You no longer tell me it'll be okay,
Or tell me everything will be alright.

Now i sleep alone in my bed,
To see you and remember all what you said.

Love is Like a Sweet Dream..

As I lie awake and cry
I'll be thinking of you my dear
Storing pieces of my heart
In every single tear

No warmth comes from my bedsheets
Warmth only comes from your embrace,
Seeing your smile,
Or kissing your face

So I stay cold and shiver
Till my eyes begin to quiver
Then it's so cold it feels hot
Tricking my heart into something it's not

Don't say that you love me
When you don't mean it at all
It puts me on my knees
And forces me to a crawl

Sweet dreams my love
Don't let the bed bugs bite
I'll be having nightmares of you
The entire night..

The world of Dreams

The world of dreams
Beckons me again
It's a dream of a world
With nothing else but pain...

Nothing feels right
Something is gone
I feel empty and hollow
My heart turns to stone...

It is you that I miss
It's my soul that is gone
Is this my destiny?
Forever alone?

I'm tired of wanting
I'm tired of needing
And each time I succeed
I am left dead and bleeding...

Say you love me
And I'll love you too
But I'll never say that I do
Cause you wouldn't love me too...

world is fake

Confusion, surrounding me
My head dizzy from constant reminders
The ground crumbles
From beneath my feet
I lose all sense of stability
No one can see the pain I hide
I don't have the heart
To tell them that their world is fake

It's just one big joke
For the ones who know
Just something to laugh about
To know the truth
You must escape
The lies of the fake world
You must open your eyes
To leave the blind of your eyes behind

So only the truth remains
Otherwise this fake world
Will envelop you in fake truths
And fake lies
Until everything you knew is found
To be a lie

I'll always be true,,

Being pushed from this cloud of love
When I close my eyes,hit the ground
Though I keep falling faster than time
Still crash to memories without sound

Would have given up my life for you
You vowed that you would never leave
Yet here I am so cold and alone
Your words of love I always believed

No faith in God no trust in Love
Still breathing as life has just begun
Unleash sadness from my black heart
Or am I past the point of no return

Please come back to me my love
Can't live on memories of yesterdays
Needing your love back in my heart
Praying you'll come back to stay

Tired of drowning in my own tears
Pictures of your face fading away
Hope to come out of this midnight train
With your hands in mine someday

Waiting for you with open arms
How could I ever leave you
Always needed you here with me
To our love I'll always be true

STOP Loving You, I have to try

Time spent with you ,
fills me with sheer happiness.

I know together we will never be ,
and this does leave me in sadness.

When I see your smile ,
I can't help but smile too.

You make me feel so special ,
when you look at me the way you do.

Your the one who makes me laugh ,
never am i down when your around.

You say the sweetest of things ,
hearing your voice is like a heavenly sound.

You make me so very happy ,
but at the same time I still cry.

I cry because we will never be ,
so to stop loving you I have to try ..

If only you were ever there..

Seems to be the foulest on Earth
Yet the sun skims the sky
In shadows I dwell,
bound in my chains
In the silken divine, but darkened depths

Kept on descending;
I don't know where I've been
How am I to know? It was too dark to see
An angel could save me Bring me back from this despair
But there was never one there

Reached the bottom of the pit
Consumed in those brisk, black waters
Caught from each rainy afternoon
So few remembered in those chasms
So many were there, so many

Deceased lie in regiments cascading to the ground
So solemn are their vows before they reach the final stair
You're going up now?
What could ever be up there?
We are standing in tomorrow's murky past

Come and laugh, Let's all laugh
Stand alone, all together now
Kept on descending and
I don't know where I've been
How could I have known? It was too dark to see.

Can you save me from this overwhelming despair?
If only you were ever there !

The journey of Life

How many friends have you lost along The way,
How many lovers gone from your sight,
How many times have you broken down in fear,
How many times have you cried yourself to sleep at night.

This world that we live in is far from perfect,
So many things that make it wrong,
Sometimes there's light that brightens up Your day,
But others its been dark all along.

How many times have you left your House crying,
Knowing things will never be the same,
How many times have you had to hide Behind a smile,
Live with a different name.

They say that life's what you make it,
But how can we control death,
One minute we are here living life,
The next out of breathes.

The journey of life confuses me,
Sometimes i just sit and wonder why,
Why do the people we are closest to,
Always have to say Goodbye???